yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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