Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I did not marry a roomba.
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