Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
