Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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