Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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