I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
