This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
In America we eat man semen.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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