I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
