Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We had to coat check the pizza.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
