Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
