I bet he comes in French.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
