I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
