He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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