I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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