yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
