So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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