The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize