it was like eating out sand paper
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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