why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
