VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
