I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize