piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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