a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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