Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
