but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
