I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
