I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
