It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
