Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
