So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have fence marks all over my body
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
