Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
