he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
