there's paper in my vomit.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
