i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
