Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
