in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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