So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm always down for nudity.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
