and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
