I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
