Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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