Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
