I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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