As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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