In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
