You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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