Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
