bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
