You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
