I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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