i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I am available for nakedness
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
