I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize