Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
