Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
