i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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