some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
