Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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