she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
