you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
