Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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