Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
