SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
