I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
