I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
