You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
