soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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