question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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