is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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