I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
