Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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