I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
