So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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