i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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