oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
