my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
