I got chris browned last night
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
