Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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