you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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